Never Judge a Mama until You've Walked a Mile in her Slippers.

Never judge a Mama until you walk a mile in her slippers.

I’ve heard a lot of comments about how stay at home moms are lazy or have no ambition.

Not true!!! (and rude!)

Moms work harder than anyone else on the planet. We have a job that requires our attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Most of us don’t have time to ourselves… ever, and when we do, we spend that time cleaning up the house while there are no children underfoot, or in my case doing homework that never ends. We don’t get to come home at the end of the day and stop thinking about our job.  Our job is everywhere.

I thought I’d walk you through a day with me. These things don’t happen EVERY day, but I can honestly say they happen most days.

First I wake up to Mads crawling into bed with me around 4 am. This actually doesn’t bother me, because she brings her blankie with me and we share it. This blanket was mine until my little darling decided she needed it for herself. Eventually Roo decided that she needed it to, and now the blanket has been cut in half and re-edged in silky fabric. Princess silky edging for Mads and Nemo for Roo. I love Mads’ half, but Roo’s always smells sort of like dried spit so I keep it in her crib.

Finally we get out of bed, much later and I go get Roo out of her crib. This is always like entering enemy territory. I open the door as slowly as I can, and then take a quick look around the room to see if anything is out of place, and sniff the air to see if it is fresh or if I’m going to be inhaling toxic fumes.

I have 2 pairs of pajamas that I know Roo can’t escape from. When she wears them I know that I won’t find a naked child in the crib come morning. However she can’t wear these every time she is supposed to be sleeping….

This leads me to tell you about the grosses mom job I’ve had so far.

When I went in to wake Roo from her nap yesterday, I noticed that she had taken off her pants and her shirt was around her neck, but her arms were out of the sleeves. As I walked closer and saw that she was covered in dirt… wait that’s not dirt. Ugh. I woke her up and brought her directly to the tub. The poor thing was still half asleep while I cleaned her up and was fussing the whole time. Once she was clean, I sat her on the toilet, and had to trim her nails and clean under them with a toothpick. *shudder*

Disgusting.

Here’s what I do in a day.

Laundry that never ends. Literally. Because at any given moment there is at least three pairs of clothes being worn.

Dishes (sometimes). I’m not going to lie, the dishes don’t get done every day. I hate them. But they get done… frequently. By hand.

Feed the kids. Sometimes easy food like bagels and cream cheese, sometimes pot roast.

Wipe their bottoms.

Dress them, over and over because they usually get messy (mostly Roo) or they want to be a princess and they can’t get their dress on. (mostly Mads)

Brush their hair and teeth. Hair usually gets done more than once.

Save Roo from falling off of whatever thing she climbed on top of.

Comfort Roo when she falls before I can save her.

Tell Roo to stop pulling Mads hair, stop hitting her, stop bugging her in general.

Tell Mads to be nice to her sister!

Find something that Mads has colored on and shouldn’t have.

Hang up Mads artwork on the refrigerator.

Watch Mads change her clothes 5 different times.

Put away the clothes that Mads has discarded.

Do homework.

Run whatever errand needs to be run that day. We need milk, bread, pudding...

Do more homework.

Wash Roo’s bedding, because she has inevitably gotten it messy somehow.

Drive Mads to school and pick her up.

Watch my girls argue over a toy, book or seat.

Break up the argument when I get tired of “letting them figure it out themselves” or when one of them starts crying.

Kiss the top of Roo’s head.

Give Mads a squeeze when she’s sitting on my lap.

Sing along to the radio, dancing around like maniacs. (For you that read this who aren’t yet parents, parenthood turns you into the weirdest human being. You do things to make your kids smile that you never thought you would do… for example: you dance like a maniac while completely sober.)

Get them ready for bed, if I’m lucky Roo is wearing her babyproof pajamas.

Tuck Mads in and give her a kiss.

Tell her no she may not have another snack, a drink of water, or a puppy.

Sing Roo a song, or four songs.

Tell her to have a good sleep.

Go into the living room and enjoy the quiet.

Tell Mads to “GET BACK IN BED!”

Start on more homework.

Stress out because there is still so much to do.

By bed time, I am exhausted, not only physically but emotionally.  But it is a good exhausted, because in the morning, I get to snuggle with Mads and share our blankie. Then I go to Roo’s room and sneak in to find a stinky, messy, mostly naked SMILING baby, and she’s waiting just for me.